Posted in relationships

The Caregivers Lament

Caregivers are those people who help those who can no longer can take of themselves alone. Now talking about a simplistic definition of something that is so much more complicated on so many levels. For the purpose of this post I think it’s best to look at what most people consider the most common definition of a caregiver of those who help take care  of a loved one who ( in many cases) are elderly. Lets make this clear being a caregiver is a full time job. There are no ” days off” to just relax. It simply doesn’t happen even if there are times that you are not physically with that person. They are constantly on your mind. There are support groups in some areas but in many there simply aren’t. Like most things in life there are some that are good. It’s important to understand that as a caregiver you will walk this journey a As Johnny Cash says in that song ” You’ve got to walk that lonesome valley you have to walk it by yourself”. It’s not fun and the sooner you realize it the better. As a caregiver you will do things in a split second and 5 minutes later you with be upset with yourself about what you just did.   It’s a lonely walk plain and simple. You will get angry at the one you are the person you are caring for and at yourself. Being a caregiver is a grind. You start your days thinking about what is the condition of the one you are caring for and your whole day is built around that with the realization in could change at any moment.  Then this question comes up? Who can I trust? Then somehow you have to find time for yourself. In your heart you know where this is going to end and in many cases that is what grinds at you the most.

Posted in Family, life, Marriage, men

Men Often Live a Lonely Life

The saying goes that me live lives of quiet desperation and to some degree that is true. Now getting men to admit it is a whole different story. Many men of the current older generation feel trapped. They were raised to hide their feelings and it was a sign of weakness to show anything but strength so that has led to a generation of men who simply carry their deepest fears and thoughts to themselves and that is so sad.