There is one question that those who fight depression everyday ask themselves and it is this the following. Why am I still here? It is a question that after all of these years I ask myself several times a day. For many would take one look at my life and say ” He really never accomplished anything.” The reality is there is truth in that statement. I have fought this depression stuff for over 50 years now and it has taken it’s toll. Then the question becomes why didn’t I end it a very long time ago? The honest answer is I really don’t know as to why? It’s one of those mysteries of my life. I know how to do it and that has never been an issue. I know what the numbers say that most suicide attempts fail and it’s not even close. I know on a cloudy and windy day it is a perfect day for the “bottom” to fall out. So that question remains. Why am I still here?