As we age at some point is the realization that the most important thing in your life is your time and how it’s spent. In a culture that has become more and more crass in how we interact with each other the biggest single thing that gets ignored is how we waist others time. Time they will never get back. You see this often in grocery store checkouts lines. The first thing is when you step in line to pay for your items you know in advance that this is a participatory activity. How many times have we all waited while the person in of us front figures out a way to pay for their items? Then they get chit-chatting with the cashier and in doing so they are taking seconds or minutes of your time that you will never get back! When you tell someone that you are willing to help them what you are really saying is that I am willing to give up my time for you. That is something that should not be taken for granted. Life events often gives you a new perspective of time and how fleeting it really is and will be gone in a flash!
As our parents age there is this concept with many adult children that they have the right to know everything about their parents health. Except in certain situations that require special needs then adult children need to shut up! Just because your parents reach a certain age that doesn’t mean they have to share all of their medical information with you! If THEY choose to then than is fine. If not it’s none of your business. These same adult children who want to know so much about their parents health withhold information about their health all the time.
They also have the right to say they are done fighting the fight and shouldn’t be bullied by adult children to keep on fighting. It’s their life and not yours! Your role as an adult child is to support their decision about their life. Keep in mind if it wasn’t for them you wouldn’t be here in the first place!
Caregivers come in many shapes,sizes and colors. The can be young,old,single or married. For many they have this vision of an aging parent being taken care of by their adult children. In many cases that is true but for some it is totally different. Being a caregiver makes you challenge yourself in ways you never expected were possible. There is this lingering doubt internally about if you are doing it right? There are no absolute rules about what is right and wrong for your situation. So the question comes down to what you are comfortable with inside of you. To the outside world they blow in and out with their options and leave. Those are people who I like to refer to as “noise makers”. They like to make noise but they really are of no help. Caregivers are angels in so many ways and yet they get so caught up in caring for their loved one they forget about themselves. There is this constant battle within themselves that often results in this question of if they do something for themselves they feel guilty. Caregivers are angels in so many ways and the sad part is they don’t realize it. So if you know a caregiver give them some encouragement for in many ways they like their loved one feel so alone.