Asking a question very often can lead to confusion and uncertainty of how the person receiving the question will receive it. As we age and face what can be extremely difficult situations many people are afraid to ask a question that may be considered obtrusive. The only way you will ever know is to ask and let the person receiving the question decide how they want to handle it. By not asking the question you may be doing both of you a disservice. There are times that just a simple dialog is all the receiving person needs. Then there are times that asking a question can be harmful. The night I lost my dad after I called the time of his death a young nurse came behind me and asked if I needed help taking off my gown. Needless to say my reaction was not real pleasant. My dad had not been dead 3 minutes. Later that evening when signing all the necessary paperwork the young nurse came up and apologized. The thing is that nurse will never do that again. So it’s ok to ask questions because you will never know unless you ask.
A few years ago after my second shoulder surgery ( and they don’t know what is causing the pain) I asked my doctor what he thought about alternative medical methods. He said the Chinese have been practicing different methods for over 4000 years so they must be doing something right. That mindset is becoming more and more prevalent in today’s western medical mindset. That is a good and necessary thing to be happening. Modern western medicine has the mindset of fixing people after they get sick instead of trying to keep people from getting sick in the first place. There are so many theories as to how to control medical cost. Wouldn’t it make sense to keep people from getting sick in the first place? Yet many Americans don’t want to change the way they live but prefer to run to the nearest ER at the first sign of illness. Of course the ER is the most expensive part of most hospitals. So why not at least explore other forms of treatment? What do you have to lose?
As our parents age there is this concept with many adult children that they have the right to know everything about their parents health. Except in certain situations that require special needs then adult children need to shut up! Just because your parents reach a certain age that doesn’t mean they have to share all of their medical information with you! If THEY choose to then than is fine. If not it’s none of your business. These same adult children who want to know so much about their parents health withhold information about their health all the time.
They also have the right to say they are done fighting the fight and shouldn’t be bullied by adult children to keep on fighting. It’s their life and not yours! Your role as an adult child is to support their decision about their life. Keep in mind if it wasn’t for them you wouldn’t be here in the first place!